An Unanticipated Mental Health Detour
Recently one of our staff left, and so I am stepping in to help out with another department. It’s a lot. On top of the pressures of my current job, along with not setting boundaries around my time, and especially my effort. For me that meant skipping lunchtime (which I often use to do a short yoga practice), and not checking in with my body and my brain.
My body basically started shouting at me in the form of hives. I started breaking out in hives on my neck and chest because I was so stressed out, and because I was putting so much pressure on myself. Talk about a wake up call. I was also just exhausted, which meant I wasn’t doing the things I like to do to refill my cup.
I’m hitting the reset button. That means taking my lunch, and doing my yoga. It also means making sure I’m not staying at work late, or mentally taking work home. It means saying no to certain requests or saying, I can’t do that now. Which is a reasonable thing to do when you are working 1.5 full time jobs. I’m also putting on my headphones more and listening to podcasts, which makes me happy.
At home I’m setting aside time when I get home to do the things that fill my cup. Right now that is sewing, reading and cooking. I don’t often have the time or energy on weeknights for anything big project wise, but I find it’s a good time to do parts of a project, like cutting a pattern, or ironing the fabric. That way when I have uninterrupted time I can work on the larger project and have what I need ready.
In talking with my therapist, she helped remind me to touch base with my body and practice being in my body. Something I’m not good about on the day-to-day (if you live in a body with pain, or in a larger body sometimes it’s easier to not be ‘in your body’). But, checking in with myself and seeing what I need whether it be food, water, or time away from a screen, is really helpful. Plus, it helps me be present.
I got a bit derailed, but thankfully I didn’t crash and burn. A large part of that is because I have support in the form of a therapist and a life coach, plus some pretty amazing friends, but most importantly I stopped and listened to what my body was saying.
Take a minute and do a body scan. What does your body need?
If you were interested in my decluttering workshop but didn’t have the time, I’ve broken down the course to weekly emails. Please sign up here to receive the workshop content via email. You'll receive one short email per week containing all the workshop information and action items, presented in an easier-to-digest and actionable format.
In the meantime, keep checking in with yourself and taking care of yourself.
F*ck Balance: Embrace Ease
I’ve had a few moments in my life where the Universe has said, “oh hey, yeah you, it’s time to slow down.” Of course I ignored those messages until then I got slapped upside the head and I was kind of forced to stop.
I was working a job that was already stressful and then my employee left to follow their path (with my blessing). The powers that be decided to not refill that position. I had already been working extra hours with support, and without support, I was working almost every night until ten pm.
One day I got into two car accidents. Thankfully no one was hurt, but it was a pretty big wake up call.
I had a pretty severe case of burnout. For me the burnout felt a little bit like depression with a smidge of PTSD disassociation thrown in. I had been dealing with that for a huge chunk of my life and so I went off to my therapist to figure out what unresolved issue had reared its ugly head only to find out that my issue was burn out. All my stress hormones were over firing and my body was calling for a time out.
And then I got into two car accidents in one day and I realized that nothing about my situation was going to change unless I changed it.
So, I left and took a position at a much lower paying and part time job. I realize not everyone is going to be able to do this, but my health and ability to function were so far gone, that I couldn’t see a path forward.
I had to slow things way down in order to regain focus, clarity, energy, optimism, joy, laughter and so many other things.
Slowly I started to rebuild my life. I started coaching, which I love, I took a new job and set some boundaries around my time. Although, I’m still working on boundaries around my effort!
I hear from so many of the people I coach, and so many of my friends, how busy they are, how overwhelmed with life and work, how little time they have for themselves and I worry about their health and well-being.
What I wish I had done differently was pump the breaks sooner. I had been running on empty for a couple of years and then when more was expected of me, I had nothing to give and burnt myself out. I should have set boundaries with work. Do you know how many studies are out there that show if you are well rested your productivity increases? So many! Yet, we all believe that if we just put in more hours we’ll get it done. It doesn’t work that way because we are human beings with human bodies and not machines.
Here are a couple of blog posts, along this same theme that you may find helpful (the common theme seems to be pictures of Sweetie):
If you want to explore what Ease looks like for you then schedule a call with me.
Clear the Clutter, Clear Your Mind
Why Your Creative Space Needs a Reset
In my work coaching clients I’ve found that a lot of us are dealing with overwhelm. Add to that the state of the world and it is easy to see why we sometimes struggle with the day to day. There’s a lot of great coaching work that can be done to help with that, but honestly the low hanging fruit is clutter.
Visual chaos leads to stress. It is an indicator to your brain that there is a never ending pile of things to be done. It makes it hard to come home and relax. At a certain point the piles become your norm, but they are still hanging out in the background saying ‘deal with me!’
One of the things that helps me with my anxiety and depression is crafting. Typically I sew, weave, crochet, or embroider, basically anything that is textile related. I’ve found though that any kind of making whether it was cooking, house projects, or photography helped boost my mood. This is one of those scientifically proven things, but I’ll get into that another time.
The absolute chaos in my office meant there wasn’t space for making.
Over the last week I’ve gone through and cleared out drawers and closets. My closet holds a lot of craft, art, photography, perfume samples and a couple sewing machines. I looked at it with an eye of what don’t I use often that can be moved elsewhere and honestly there wasn’t much.
Now when I walk in and see my sewing space clear of everything but my sewing machine and current project, it makes me want to sit down and sew!
I’m still working on setting things up in a more functional and useful way but I couldn’t do any of that until I got clear on what I wanted in my life and then created the space for that to happen.
Your Mission: Clean out a drawer. That’s it. You don’t have to clean the whole house, especially when that can feel way to daunting. Pull out a drawer, any drawer, and give it a once over.
And! sign up for my workshop in newsletter format: How to Live Clutter Free
If your clutter has taken over your life and you want to find out more about what how Life Coaching can help, please sign up for a free half hour Curiosity Call. You can ask all the questions you have to learn about how Life Coaching can help you.
Space for Dreaming
I was talking to my therapist about how I felt like I had lost sight of my goals. But, it wasn’t that I didn’t know what I wanted to do, it was more that I hadn’t given myself space to dream of what was possible.
Years ago I dreamed about getting my Life Coaching certification. I found a list of possible programs that I had drafted from 2021. This year I achieved that goal and became an ICF certified life coach through Wholehearted Coaching. I am so glad I waited, because this was the program that fit my needs in so many ways.
Yes, cause for celebration and also, now what?! I finished my certification and hung up my shingle. I’m building this business, but I forgot to dream of what I want this business to be for the people I want to serve, and also, myself.
This! This is what I struggle with. Allowing myself to dream, and to think beyond my current reality to what is possible. I spent a good chunk of my life just trying to get through the day and so this dreaming and then setting of goals is rough.
And yet, this morning I got a little inkling of what I wanted while walking and letting my mind wander. I’m not quite ready to share because I want to spend some time letting this percolate. I was thinking that I need to do an activity called ‘Ideal Day’ or ‘Perfect Day’. I’ll put the description below so you can try it yourself.
It helps me to have a specific activity because sometimes I find it hard to dream of what life can be, but it’s really helpful to do so. We all should find space to dream and then set goals to achieve those dreams.
How to Set Up A Landing Zone
Since, we have been talking about clutter I thought I’d give you some tips and tricks. Honestly the best way to not have clutter is to “have a place for everything, and everything in its place”. Or to not have things…
One of the biggest pain points in any house is leaving and coming back home. Leaving because you can’t find what you need, and coming back home because you may be leaving a trail of things behind you. Think about the things you carry: Keys, lunch bags, purse or bag, coat, mail, water bottle, kids, coffee mug, scarf, shoes, gloves, library books, phones and packages. Add to that other people’s stuff if you don’t live alone! Where does it all go?
What you need is a landing zone. A place where all of those things go when you come home. Here the primary daily things you use should have a place to rest.
My last apartment didn’t have a foyer. In fact most of the apartments I’ve lived in didn’t have foyers, but I was still able to set up a landing zone. FYI this was in my living room yet it still managed to be stylish.
When I come home everything I have in my hands, or on my body, is put away. Some items go in the landing zone, but books go in my office, items that belong in the kitchen go straight to the kitchen, and so forth. That way when I’m getting ready to leave in the morning I can just grab what I need and go.
My current apartment actually has a foyer and a hall closet! It is like hitting the apartment lottery in Chicago. I still have a landing place. There is a bowl for my keys on my secretary desk and a spot for my bag and shoes in the hall closet.
Your Mission
Do you have a landing zone? If you do send me pictures! If not, carve one out for yourself. Commit to putting things away at the end of the day instead of dumping it in a pile. If you need help setting one up let me know! In a former life I was an interior designer so feel free to respond to this email with pictures and we can talk about some possible landing zone ideas.
And! sign up for my free workshop: How to Live Clutter Free
Life Coaching
If your clutter has taken over your life and you want to find out more about what how Life Coaching can help, please sign up for a free half hour Curiosity Call. You can ask all the questions you have to learn about how Life Coaching can help you.
The Summer edit
I was talking to a friend the other day (Hello friend!) about Seasonal Affective Disorder and how I know how to manage it for winter but summer always knocks me on my proverbial behind.
All the summer marketing is about being outdoors and having fun in the sun. Y’all the sun is not fun!! So, I’ve learned to embrace a slower pace in the summer. My beach day looks like a comfy chair, a sweet drink and a book. Oh and a lot of sunscreen and a sun hat!
Chances are if you invite me to an outdoor fest in the summer that I’m going to say no. I know my limits and standing outside in the sun is just not fun for me. You do you boo.
Although, I do love a bike ride at dusk when the temperature starts to shift, the cicadas are whirring, and the fireflies are out. It reminds me of heading home as a kid because the street lights have come on and it’s time to go home (or else). That feeling of being happily worn out and looking forward to some dinner. I wish I could bottle that feeling.
Maybe that’s the feeling I’m trying to chase this summer. One of contentment.
How do you like to spend your summer?
If you are new here, welcome, and you may find this post on Sustaining helpful.
Reminder: Design the Life you Desire: How to Live Clutter Free is September 3rd at 6:30PM CST. There will be a replay so even if you can’t make it live you can get the goods. You can register here.
If you know anyone who would find either my newsletter or the workshop helpful, please forward it on to them. Thank you!
Your mission
I’m going to challenge myself to have some fun in the sun this weekend (in small sunscreen protected doses). I’ll take my chair out to the beach with a good book. How can you embrace summer this weekend?
Life Coaching
I have been working on trying to define what it is I do and the phrase ‘Create the Life You Want to Live’ or ‘Design the Life You Desire’ was percolating in my mind. The reality though is I help people get out of bed in the morning. If life is overwhelming you, then learn how Life Coaching can help. Please sign up for a free half hour Curiosity Call. You can ask all the questions you have to learn about how Life Coaching can help you.
Do What is possible
I’ve been struggling to get some home projects done. Everywhere I look everything feels half finished. And then I get frustrated and beat myself up about it. Which is so helpful and productive. Sigh. This week I challenged myself to do something new. I decided to focus on the things I had time and energy for. That energy part is key!
Every day when I came home from work I spent 45 minutes to an hour on the little things. Monday I managed to cook a nourishing and tasty dinner (if like me you have a surplus of summer zucchini I highly recommend this sandwich. It was quick, easy and delicious. Plus as things were cooking I managed to clean up the kitchen. I cleaned out Sweetie’s litter boxes and watered the plants. It doesn’t sound like much but it meant I was heading into the week with something to eat for dinner, Sweetie had fresh hay, my plants weren’t wilting and the kitchen was clean. Tuesday night I emptied and reloaded the dishwasher, I ground coffee for the week ahead, and I changed my sheets and did that load of laundry.
Throughout the week I kept doing small things— things to take care of me, my house, my bunny and set me up for the week ahead. (FYI- not written by AI, but I’m a lover of the em dash, and an oxford comma) It meant coming home to an already clean house and knowing I had food and, most importantly, coffee.
Often times during the week I come home and the couch eats me. And that’s it. Nothing gets done. But this week I am trying to keep the house in order so that this weekend if I have the time and energy I can work on a house project. Ironically, I was talking to a friend and saying I haven’t gotten anything done and she pointed out all the things I’ve accomplished. That helped, some. Nothing like being a recovering perfectionist and holding yourself to a ridiculous standard. I digress…
All of this to say that sometimes clutter is just the daily stuff. The pile that gets dropped by the front door, the dishes that pile up on the counter, or clothes that end up draped over a chair instead of put away. Or in my case over a ladder because I thought if I put the ladder closer to the project I would get it done.
Yes, we all have busy lives, but honestly time isn’t the problem. It’s energy and capacity. So reframe what you can get done based on how you are feeling. Create space to do the things you feel capable of doing. Find ways to ritualize the daily work of taking care of yourselves and loved ones (this includes plants).
Speaking of energy and capacity, I ended up pushing out my workshop Design the Life you Desire: How to Live Clutter Free will now be September 3rd at 6:30PM CST. There will be a replay so even if you can’t make it live you can get the goods. You can register here.
If you know anyone who would find either my newsletter or the workshop helpful, please forward it on to them. Thank you!
Your mission
How are you feeling? What is your energy level like? What are the things you need to do to take care of yourself and loved ones and what things can wait? Give yourself some space. Who knows you may be ready to tackle all the things this weekend, but if not, please add rest to your to do list.
Life Coaching
If your clutter is overwhelming and you want to find out more about what how Life Coaching can help, please sign up for a free half hour Curiosity Call. You can ask all the questions you have to learn about how Life Coaching can help you. Plus, I was an interior designer so I have a ton of helpful tips.
Is Your Home Weighing You Down?
Let’s change that.
When you walk through your front door at the end of the day, how do you feel?
If the answer is anything other than relieved or at ease — if it's more like overwhelmed, guilty, or like you just want to go back outside — I get it. I really do.
I come from a family of collectors (Actually that might be an understatement). There are a lot of reasons we hang on to things: the fear that something might be useful one day, sentimental value, a scarcity mindset, or sometimes just trying to fill a void. For me, it's always been a mix of all of those things. And for a long time, I also didn't realize how much the state of my home was affecting everything else — my mood, my energy, my ability to do the things I actually love.
It's kind of a chicken and the egg situation. Did the clutter come first, or the feeling of being stuck? Honestly, it doesn't really matter. What I know is that they feed each other, and breaking that cycle is possible.
That's exactly what we're going to work on together.
Introducing: Design for the Life You Desire — How to Live Clutter Free
On July 30th at 6:30PM Central, I'm hosting a live workshop where we're going to dig into what it actually takes to clear the clutter and create a home that works for you — not against you. If you can’t make it live, no worries, I’ll send out a replay.
This isn't about having a perfectly organized, Pinterest-worthy home (though hey, if that's your dream, go for it). It's about figuring out what you need your home to feel like, and then building toward that — practically, sustainably, and without losing your mind in the process.
Here's what we'll cover:
Getting clear on what you want.
Before we touch a single drawer, we're going to talk about what you actually want your home to feel like. Calm? Creative? Functional? This step matters more than most people realize, and most of us skip it entirely.
Making your space work for your life.
Form follows function — and your home should support the things you want to be doing in it. We'll talk about how to identify what's getting in the way and how to set up systems that actually stick (without making things more complicated than they need to be).
Real decluttering methods that work.
There's no one-size-fits-all approach here. We'll walk through a few different methods — from one-thing-a-day to the minimalism game to starting in one corner — so you can find the one that fits where you are right now.
Building habits and routines.
Because getting organized is one thing. Staying that way is another. We'll talk about how to create simple habits that help you maintain your space without it becoming another thing on your to-do list.
Register Here
Who this is for
This workshop is for you if:
You feel overwhelmed every time you look around your home
You keep putting off the things you love because the clutter is in the way
You know you need to make a change but have no idea where to start
You've tried to declutter before and it just didn't stick
You don't need to have it all together to show up. Clutter and all is just fine.
Come join us
Design for the Life You Desire: How to Live Clutter Free
July 30th | 6:30PM Central | Live Workshop
I'd love to see you there. Let's create a home that actually feels like yours.
Is your clutter overwhelming your life
This weeks post is about clutter and its impact on your big squishy brain. Short story is it messes with you. I mean it messes with all of us and does it in different ways, but clutter can weigh you down. I know that when my depression is creeping up on my that keeping the mess at a minimum is so challenging, but also so helpful.
I just finished reading Gretchen Rubin’s book Outer Order, Inner Calm. I really appreciate that she acknowledges there is no one size fits all approach to dealing with the detritus of our lives. She recognizes that some of us have different ways and reasons for why we hang on to clutter and it may take different approaches in order to let things go.
In my study of happiness, I’ve realized that for most of us, outer order contributes to inner calm-Gretchen Rubin
At one point in my life I tried to be a minimalist. I still agree with the principles, which at their core is about clearing clutter and adding value to your life. Let’s just say my sentimentality and maximalist design choices can sometimes get in the way of all that.
There were a couple of suggestions from Gretchen’s book that I thought would be great to try.
“Use a photograph to evaluate clutter”. Sometimes we get so used to the way things are that we can’t see it. So by taking a photograph you are looking at a different vantage point and can see things better.
“Move clutter out of context”. This is similar to using a photograph to see things differently. When you move the clutter into another space it is possible to see it again.
I think the best piece of advice she gives is “don’t get organized. Which seems counterinutiive, but the first thing you need to do is to get rid of stuff and once you have done that you know what you have left that needs to be organized. I’d add to that, don’t buy organizational bins or tools until you know what you are dealing with.
One habit I’ve implemented is a daily swipe of the kitchen counter. Dishes go in the sink, random things get put away, and I wipe down the counter. That daily reset keeps the kitchen counter clear. For me, keeping the kitchen counter clear means the clutter doesn’t pile up and I don’t get overwhelmed.
Your Mission
Is there one spot in your house that is the linchpin to keeping things in order? Mine is the kitchen counter. It could be your dining table, the floor in the hallway, or your bed where everything seems to end up. Step one would be to clear that area. Step two would be to figure out if there are things that keep ending up there because they don’t have a place to go. Find them their place. It will help you in the long run.
Life coaching
If your clutter is overwhelming and you want to find out more about what how Life Coaching can help, please sign up for a free half hour Curiosity Call. You can ask all the questions you have to learn about how Life Coaching can help you. Plus, I was an interior designer so I have a ton of helpful tips.
Keep being you
I sometimes feel this almost scratching feeling in my brain like I haven’t accomplished enough. That I need to be doing more with my life. Somebody please define “more” for me! In talking with friends and clients I know I’m not alone.
Yet, I think about my grandparents and how from the outside their lives looked kind of small. Both only graduated from high school, they worked hard their whole lives in blue collar jobs, they raised their kids and then enjoyed their grandkids (at least I hope they did) and from that view it doesn’t seem like they left much of a legacy.
Except they did. Their lives touched so many people, including my own. Poppy taught me, not just how to fix things, but the importance of make do and mend, his quiet patience gave me a safe space, and his joy to hit the open road with a camper and go on adventures all around the United States gave me a glimpse of America that most people never get. My grandmother taught me how to set a table, how to bake, how to cook and how to be a good hostess, she gave me a love of gardening, and she also taught me how to sew and crochet.
They seem like small things but they inform, not just how I live my life, but who I am as a person. I had a dinner party recently for ten people. Being able to cook and host are skills, but at their core it’s about building community. Bringing people together who know me but not each other, making connections and sharing a meal is such a beautiful thing. People are writing books about it and yet it is something almost second nature to me.
I ran into a friend I hadn’t seen in over a decade a few years ago. I met her husband and her daughters. She was so excited to tell me that she sewed her daughters clothes and that it was all thanks to me. I was surprised but she said I always told her to just do it and if you mess up, well, that’s what a seam ripper is for.
I think about friends who have carried me through difficult times, about bosses who taught me how to be a better leader, of teachers who imparted the knowledge I needed in that moment. I think of the whole host of people who have come into my life, some for just a fleeting moment, and some for over thirty years. They all have had an impact on me. Even my life coaching clients teach me something new every day. Sometimes it is the mirror they reflect back to show me the work I need to do, sometimes it is awe at their resilience and sometimes it is a tidbit of knowledge that helps me in my work.
You may be thinking you haven’t done enough yet with this wild wondrous life, but I’d argue you’ve done so much, but it can be hard to see. You’ve had more of an impact on the people and the world around you then you can ever imagine.
Your homework
Your homework for this week is to reach out and tell someone how they affected you. It can be something small and I bet, in that smallness, you will surprise that person because they probably thought it was nothing. But for you, it meant the world.
Life Coaching
If you want to find out more about what how Life Coaching can help you life your wild wondrous life, please sign up for a free half hour Curiosity Call. You can ask all the questions you have to learn about how Life Coaching can help you.
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